Guidance, Healing, & Hope

Since starting this adoption journey, God has laid so much upon my heart.  And it's only been two short months.  I've cried out for the sick and starving in third world countries, mourned for mother's faced with giving up their children as the only choice for their babies to survive, I prayed desperately for baby Noah to find a forever family, and grieved over the millions of babies that were aborted without ever getting a chance at life.  And this week God has laid even more on my heart.  He has definitely been breaking my heart for what breaks His.

A friend told me about a family in need of prayers.  (Names left out to protect their privacy).  Two children, a 2 year old girl and a 2 month old boy, were permanently removed from their mother for suspected abuse.  They were placed in the care of their grandmother and their 18 year old aunt.  Their mother has no visitation rights.  And the family is feeling overwhelmed with these children.  I don't know any specifics and I can only imagine how hard it must be. 

There must be so much pain in knowing that your loved one is suspected of child abuse.  And so much pain in looking at these little ones and knowing that they have overcome so much in their short little lives.  There is so much unconditional love to care for these children as your own and want the very best for them.  There is so much sacrifice when raising children.  And let's face it, it's just plain hard.  It's hard for every parent bringing home a new baby - the sleepless nights, trying to find a routine, and still juggling everything that has to be done, work, chores, and the list goes on.  Take all of that and imagine becoming a parent overnight, a single parent at that.  Imagine having a 2 month old tossed into your arms at the young age of 18, barely an adult yourself with so much ahead of you.  That's sacrifice.

Our house is a living example of how hard raising children can be.  Ashton is 18 months, Abby is 5 years old, and with two girls, the meltdowns are frequent.  Every morning we can expect a meltdown over shoes, clothes, hair, or babydolls.  And this is just in the 15 minutes we are getting them ready to go to Mamaw's house.  And somehow we look at all this craziness and say, yeah, let's add one more to the mix.  God has given us so much more than we need, and these chronic meltdowns are just a phase in our life (right?).  And when I hear stories like this, about an 18 year old girl becoming an instant mom, I realize how easy I've got it, and how blessed I am.

Please pray for God's guidance for this family.  Pray for healing for all the pain.  Pray for hope for the future of these beautiful children.  I've been pouring my heart out in prayer for this family whom I have never met.  And when I think of them, I think of Jeremiah 29:11.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

A Heavy Heart

I read two articles over the past two days that just left my heart HEAVY.  So heavy I can hardly stand to carry it on my own. 

The first was an article about a couple that is giving up everything to become missionaries in Haiti.  Below is an excerpt that tore my heart to pieces:

He told about a mom to two young children with a new hungry baby girl. The mom was starving and her milk had dried up. There was no room for the baby at an orphanage, so she killed the baby with a rock rather than watch it starve to death.

“Can you feel the gut-wrenching poverty that would make you kill a baby?” he asked the crowd.

To me this is completely unthinkable!  How could a mother kill her own baby?   A mother should never even be faced with these trials.  Can you imagine knowing someone whose children are literally starving to death and facing these trials?  It's hard isn't it.  If we knew of starving children in our neighborhood, the majority of us would be at the door saying "Here Am I".  We would feed them, we would care for them, we would love them.

“Why does this happen?” he said. “Many ask, ‘Why does a good God allow this to happen?’

“I have another question. Why do good Christians allow this to happen?"

“Go into all the world,” said Vanderpool about Jesus’ Great Commission in Matthew 28. “He said, ‘Go.’

(Read the rest of this article here)

I also read an article about abortion someone posted on facebook from www.lifenews.com.  Somehow I have been blinded by this issue for the last 29 years.  Yes, I knew that thousands of babies are aborted.  I have even heard the story of a girl who was aborted, and survived to be adopted into a wonderful Christian home.  But somehow I didn't know how often babies actually live through abortion.  I read three horrific stories about babies that survived abortion, but then were left to die.  Placed in specimen pans, wrapped in disposable towels, even shoved in a closet - gasping for breath, lungs heaving.  With doctors, nurses, and all the medical care possible available, these babies are left to die simply because their mother wanted an abortion.  Their frail little lives are treated as if they have no value.  Nurses have lost their jobs fighting for these babies.  I read about nurses holding these babies, rocking them in their arms, and even baptizing them, nurses loving these babies until they took their last breath.  Babies without names.  My heart goes out to those in the medical field who face this struggle.  Can you imagine seeing this?  Which one of us would not do all that we could to save these little ones gasping for air?  Which one of us would not be screaming "Lord Here Am I"?

In the US there is an average of 3700 abortions a day!  It's a silent homicide.  We all know about abortion, I've always been Pro-Life, but I've never pictured these babies gasping for air and being left to die all alone, some living for hours before they finally pass.  Babies dying when so many families would be willing to adopt them.  Babies dying by their mother's choice while women are literally being dragged into abortion clinics in China against their will. 

I feel compassion towards the Haitian mother who loved her child, who wanted to feed her baby, who was willing to give up her baby for adoption to allow her to live, but in the end was left hopeless. While 3700 women a day in the US kill their babies for selfish reasons - because a baby is too much of a burden for them, because they believe their baby has a disability, or deformity.  The answer to this problem is adoption.  One mother pursued adoption for her child but was turned away, while 3700 women a day in the US don't give it a second thought.

What is this world that we live in?  How much longer must we suffer Lord?  How much longer must we wait for your return?

“Why do good Christians allow this to happen?"

The fight is ours.  Against poverty.  Against abortion.  The fight for all of God's children is our fight.

This is my Story

As part of the adoption application (which we finally submitted - Yay!) we both had to write our testimonies.  With Shawn's permission, I have posted his testimony below. 

THE EARLY YEARS

When asked about what my testimony is, what’s my story, I struggle. I am not a man of many words, so describing a distinct divine moment is hard for me. You see, I have always seen life not as a time filled with fate, but as actions of God’s will and man’s decisions. I was raised in a “casual Christian” home.  My father was a retired military turned semi truck driver, and my mother was a part time waitress.  We went to church, when we had time, when we didn’t over sleep or when the chores where caught up.  Even though my family believed in Christ as their savior, we were not the most obedient to his word.  My mother tried to “church” us as she enrolled me and my older siblings in a small private school in the basement of the church we attended.  My two oldest brothers and my sister graduated from this school. My other brother and I were not so fortunate. My parents had a falling out with the principle of the school and we were tossed into the chaotic world of public schools where we learned all the wrong things and not much of what the teacher was teaching…we became those kids…

My grandmother is the most faithful person I have ever met.  She was widowed before my birth, yet never remarried or turned to another man.  She instead turned to God and the teaching of the bible. She only kept one husband, even past his early passing.  She loves and lives for Christ.  She was the early beacon of light that introduced me to Him, to His ways, to His love.

My sister Krista and her husband Jesse White were early leaders for me in the Christian faith.  When I was as young as 9 or so I would work for them every Saturday night and during every week off school at their auction house.  Moving small boxes, helping carry bigger items, and catching bids as a junior ring man during the sell as well as clean up and tear down afterward.  I thought it was awesome because I was out making money and all my friends were at home bored to wits end.  Little did I know that more than work ethics were being instilled in me.  Jesse’s dad, Jim, was the founder of the auction that Jesse and Krista ran, but he was also a pastor.  No matter how late the auction ran on Saturday night, no matter how hard you worked, or how sore your muscles were, you were up on Sunday morning and you were going to church.

Just like church, when it came time to eat, even if you had moved an entire storage unit of furniture and boxes before breakfast, you took the time to thank the Lord for your food before you ate.  One afternoon we were taking a break at the auction and I was talking to Jesse and Jim and a lot of the discussions we had revolved around faith and Jim loved to share his testimony.  I casually stated that one day I would like to be pastor.  Not sure where that came from, I was a shy kid and did not like speaking in front of crowds.  Well, a couple weeks later Jim called me to the pulpit and let me have a turn at speaking to the crowd.  At first I was frightened, but that subsided and the words began to flow.  I am sure it was an incoherent rambling of mild biblical basis delivered from a stage frightened 10 year old boy.  All in all everyone said I did a great job, but that’s what supportive adults do.

THE PRODIGAL YEARS

The early years seemed easy compared to my prodigal years of being a teenager.  I eventually discovered females and wanted my weekends to be free so I quit working for the auction when I was about 14.  I started chasing girls and being the youngest of five, I started partying most every weekend too.  I made every wrong choice you could imagine.  Yet most nights as I would lay in bed I prayed…I would beg for forgiveness.  Beg to be accepted into His kingdom.  I would ask for a way out of the holes I had dug myself into.  Even though I was the poorest excuse for a self proclaimed Christian you could find, He always lead me out of darkness and I knew it was only by his grace.  Yet I would fall away again and again and again.  I broke my word to him every time I prayed, but He never betrayed me.

SWEET MERCY

Well, when you come from a lower income family, you can’t party like a rock star unless you pay for it yourself.  So, at age 16 (on my 16^th birthday to be exact) I started working at a local fast food restaurant.  It was fun; the party would start while we were at work and carry on to someones parent’s house afterward.  There were mornings that I had to work the kitchen for breakfast on a Saturday or Sunday morning and I would still be half drunk and exhausted.  So I would buy no-dose or Stackers or some kind of energy pills (this was before the energy drink craze).  There were times I would take too much and find myself dry heaving in the dumpster, my heart racing.  At least once I thought I was going to die from a caffeine overdose.  For some reason He spared me, maybe I was just over dramatic at the time, but I vowed to never do that again, but of course I did do it again.  Many times.  Thanks to this greasy burger joint, I was introduced to a young woman named Amber.  I swear to you God put her there to save me from my self-destructive ways.  Maybe it was a hangover and early morning light, but I walked around the corner to clock in and she was taking an order in the drive thru and she looked like an angel (wearing a head set and fast food uniform), the light from the quick serve window radiating around her struck me as divine.  I had spoke to her a couple times, but she was one of the “good girls” and I knew she wouldn’t go for a foul mouthed cigarette smoking, alcohol abusing poor boy like me.  But something inside me said “Get to know her”.   So I went out on a limb and went for it.  So after time actually trying to get to know a girl for who she was and not for my own intentions, I truly fell for her.  She turned me down I don’t know how many times.  Eventually, not sure why or how it happened she agreed to go out, that had to be the hand of God.  Now, my life did not change overnight, but through her I can see the same mercy and grace I saw in my grandmother.  She did not give up on me, not even when I continued down my foolish path.  I believe the only thing that held her hand in mine was the hand of God.  He used her to save me.

BAPTISM

I was never baptized as a child, wasn’t really sure what it was. But, my angel Amber re-introduced me to church.  So if I wanted to see her on Sunday, I would have to get up and go to church.  And I did.  This forced me to change myself, cut back on the drinking and not stay out AS late.  Yes I still partied, but it was scaled back.  I was fortunate enough to get to know Pastor Tim Underhill the preacher at Rolling Fork Christian.  He is a kind man with a pleasant disposition.  He was not pushy about the whole baptism thing.  After a while I came to understand what the baptism meant and I continued to pray. Now, by this time I had left public school and had enrolled in a small Christian school so I could hurry up and graduate (Amber had graduated a year ahead of me).  I was getting my tank refilled with all this mercy and love. The time had come. The old me had to die, be buried and rise a new man in Christ.  Now this time period in my life was a blur. I am not sure if I had graduated yet or if I was still in school. But I knew I needed the change.  The voice deep inside pushed me to change.  So I did it.  I was baptized one Sunday morning and I felt great, until I got home.  My mom was disappointed because she was not there to see it. I was a little crushed.  But that is life.

CHANGE IS NOT EASY OR NATURAL

I had a plan.  I did not get good grades in high school, so getting into college would not be easy.  I had taken two years of Air Force JROTC my sophomore and junior years in public school.  So, it just made sense to join the Air Force and attend the CCAF and get a degree by the time my 4 years were up.  Fool proof plan.  My Dad retired from the Army when I was less than a year old, so I had heard all the stories my whole life.  And in the post 9/11 America, the Air Force is way safer than the Marines or Army.  So while signing up, I got knocked out of all the good jobs due to minor hearing loss.  Then, on my ship out date, I shaved my patchy goatee and was ready to fly into the wild blue yonder…but that didn’t happen.  I was overweight by one pound.  I was devastated.  So I came home and joined the work force.  Yes I could have lost one pound and shipped 30 days later, but that was not God’s plan for me and Amber.  Amber is a homebody who needs her family close.  Military life is not for her.  So my plan changed, and changed again and again.  One thing did not change, Amber was by my side keeping me in check, once again only by God’s grace and mercy.  So we settled down and got married.  We bought a house and Amber graduated college.  We no longer attended the church that I was baptized in and that we were married in.  We had switched to a church closer to home.  It had a fine young pastor and his adorable family.  He reached out to us and our families and I was so ever grateful for Matthew and Rachel Johnson.  But a young pastor in an old church sometimes does not mix.  There was a group within the church that attacked Matthews’s character and was trying to force him out.  It was obvious that Matthew could not stay at this church.  We wanted no part of this political battle, so we left the church…for years.  Amber and I were on different shifts and I was looking for a hobby so to say.  I was driving home from work one day and saw a banner hanging off the local fire department substation that read “NOW RECRUITING” in large bold print.  I had to do it.  I needed this chance to be someone, I wanted a change.

INTRO TO PARKWAY

So goes the days of being a jolly volunteer, running out in the middle of the night, missing dinner and ends of movies.  There were several near misses and emotionally draining calls to respond to.  I was hooked and loved every last minute of my time with the fine men and women of the Bardstown Nelson County Fire Department.  It is really amazing how God used these three years to lead us back to the church. It is still baffling to me today.  As my job positions changed at work and I jumped from shift to shift it was becoming difficult to get the required training hours needed to stay active at the fire department.  So I would attend Friday morning training with the paid crew.  Most of these days were full of building preplans and computer training. One of the last Friday morning trainings I attended we did a “preplan walkthrough” of Parkway Baptist Church.  It is a larger church than I had ever attended.  From the moment I walked in I was awestruck. They loved their children. They had a secure, fun and educational preschool area, a playground outside, they had a nice area for older children to learn and worship then they had an area I had never expected…it looked like a night club almost, illuminated by black lights there was a stage and a full set of instruments, colorful crosses and ten commandments tablets glowed off the walls.  Where was this 10 years ago?  Usually during a preplan, I concentrate on FDC hook ups, and attack methods, areas that could be a potential hazard to fire fighters entering the building.  But not today.  I was blown away at how much this church reached out to its youth.  But it was more than that too.  There were prayer rooms, and a library loaded with educational Christian books.  The sanctuary had two large screens so everyone could sing along with the worship leader and read the text the pastor was preaching from.  They not only loved the children, but loved all who attended their services.  God had blessed my home town with an amazing treasure that I had failed to notice for all this time.  When I got home, I told Amber how awesome it was.  Then I filed it away and never went back.

PARENTHOOD, FOOLISH PRIDE AND SAVING GRACE

Amber and I had been blessed with promotions and in my foolish mind it was due to my hard work.  We had sold our nice starter home and built a large house on a huge plot of land that included a barn and a pond.  We were at the top of our game.  We were excitedly expecting our first child in my mind our only biological child.  I always said we could have one child and if we wanted more, we could adopt one.  Then the game changed.   Amber was forced to changed shifts so we could no longer ride share and had to buy a car.  My truck was too little to haul a baby in, so we had to buy ANOTHER car.  Finally the day came and we were blessed with our beautiful Miss Abigail May, Abby for short.  The blessing also came with diapers, formula and clothes.  No biggie we got this right, wrong.  Abby was born with reflux, she had to eat special formula which was about $75 a week plus reflux medicine.  We were broke.  Along comes the recession and I get moved from a team leader position back to production reducing my pay even further.  So we prayed and it was clear, we needed to trim the fat and reduce our life style.  We purchased a much smaller older house and sold our nice big house.  I jumped shifts to dodge layoffs, the whole time being guided by Gods sovereign hands.  As Abby started getting older, and our mistakes became clear the need to join a church resounded loudly.  We talked about this and that and decided to try out that big church I toured a couple years before.  It was a great fit.  God is moving through that Church and through our family.  God has put in place strong leadership that hold tight to sound doctrine.  In the three years we have been attending Parkway Baptist, I have grown spiritually beyond all recognition.  We have added a second daughter to the picture, Ashton Macie, who will be two in October.  I love seeing my daughters enjoying church, interacting with other children who love God as they do.  I love hearing them sing Jesus Loves Me and telling me about Noah’s Ark.  It is refreshing seeing what is being told to them at home being reinforced at church, because you know parents can be so square.  God has brought us to a place that embraces change in a biblical method while holding strong to biblical principle.  This atmosphere promotes healthy spiritual growth from within.  I know while typing this up it was painful to look back and see who I was, all the wrong that I’ve done.  But there is peace knowing that through Christ alone, these sins and transgressions are forgiven eternally.

WHO I AM

I have lived my life loving God, but denying his truth as Peter denied Christ three times.  I have heard and read the Parable of the Prodigal Son, but more so, I have lived it.  I have cried out to the Lord in anger just to fall onto my tears to beg for mercy.  I have seen flames take 12 lives all at the same time, but found peace in His word.  I struggle with my pride, but ask Him for help.  I am a sinner, but I pray for forgiveness with a heart of repentance.  As I beg God for forgiveness, I struggle to give forgiveness, foolish pride.  God is moving me to change my stubborn ways and with His help I will overcome this sinful nature.  I pray you find this insight full as we move forward to adoption.

Moringa

Shelby and Leah

 

 

Today I have a guest post and fundraising opportunity from Nick West.  Shawn and I both work with Nick and have known him for several years.

 

Hello my name is Nick West. I am married to my high school sweetheart Lenea. Together we have 3 Amazing daughters. Shelby, 5. Raegan 2 1/2 and Leah 3 months. We had planned on stopping with Raegan and Adopting a child in a few years to try to give a better life to someone who would otherwise struggle. As many of you know God laughs at our plans so in January we welcomed our latest addition to our Tribe. Ever since we found out we were having another child I have had the thought rolling around in my head to look for someone else to help. In comes the Ipad Raffle :) I had just started looking into Shawn and Amber's journey thru another blog post Amber had shared on Facebook. I bought a few tickets but still felt a little push to do more.

 

Raegan listening to baby Leah

 

After further thought and prayer I decided to Team up with them and use the power of Moringa to help them fund their journey. I will donate 10% of all initial Orders and 5% of all additional orders generated thru this blog post. If you have any questions about anything we do please feel free to contact me and I will be more than happy to help you. My cell is 270-765-3659

http://nickwest.myzija.com/moringa/index.html

 

Check out Nick's page to learn more about Moringa!  I've included a link to the right for future reference.  Thanks Nick & Lenea for all of your support! 

 

Talk About Timing...

Yesterday I was sulking, you see I was hoping to get this whole adoption thing rolling, but we were still financially shy.  We only had $2869.  We need $250 for the adoption application and $3083.33 for the home study, so a total of $3333.33.  We were fortunate to get a bonus last week, which I had already added in our adoption fund, but we were still shy.  I'm sure I don't have to tell you that waiting is hard - it doesn't matter what you are waiting for, we want what we want, when we want it.

I finally got over my sulking (sort of).  I knew we would have the money next month and until then decided we would put spring cleaning in high gear and focus on some minor home repairs.

After work I picked the kids up, went home, and checked the mail as usual.  Then headed inside to start dinner - rice & beans night, talk about an easy dinner!  Abby was thrilled to find a "Kids'R Us" (Toys'R Us) catalog in the stack of mail.  And I found an envelope from a consulting company - probably junk mail but I opened it anyway.  To my surprise, I found a check.  A few weeks ago, I had received a letter in the mail stating that we would get a settlement check from our old mortgage company.  Apparently they were under some type of review and our loan was involved in the settlement case.  Now I've received these silly settlement checks before from different companies that we've been involved with, the last one totaled 17 cents to be exact (quite sad when the postage is worth more than the check, don't you think?).  So when I read the letter, I laughed and even told Shawn we would probably be getting a big 17 cent check in the mail soon.  But this wasn't a 17 cent check, it was $300.  We were almost there now.  I started crunching the numbers again for the adoption fund.  I'm still not sure how, but apparently I had miscalculated somewhere along the way and our new total is $3340!  Yep, just a few dollars MORE than what we need.  Talk about God's timing!!!  Needless to say, we will be sending in our adoption application this week!

I also want to apologize for letting my 7 Days of 7 blogs slip.  I hate to pull this card, but I've been busy.  Busy crafting (for adoption) busy with the chores, and busy with the kids.  This is what life is really about.  While 7 is still an amazing book, you are just going to have to read it for yourself!  But this verse pretty much sums it up:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

In His Timing

This weekend Abby had $1.83 that was absolutely burning a hole in her pocket.  She wanted to buy some candy - more cadbury eggs to be exact.  All week I heard about how she was going to buy those eggs the next time we went to the store.  Last night at Walmart, she changed her mind.  She didn't want candy anymore, now she wanted twin babydolls with a double stroller for $20.  She sulked, cried, and pouted, but we were not giving her the remaining $18.17 plus tax.  It was time for her to learn the value of $1.  We showed her every cheap generic toy that she could afford, but that wasn't what she wanted.  We finally left, without a toy, telling her she would just have to save her money until she had enough for those twin babies. 

Today I have a lot of things weighing on my mind, and I feel like Abby.  I have come to the Lord with my $1.83 asking him to give me more.  And he just keeps telling me, it's not time yet.  It's amazing how easy it is to tell your kids no, and expect them to accept your answer without sulking or pouting.  But the minute God says no, we are angry or sad, and feel like we "deserve" to have what we want.  So, today I'm waiting for His timing, and maybe pouting on the inside....

And the Winner Is....

Krista White!!!

 

Abby delivering the iPad2 to Krista

 

We raised $680.94, so after the cost of the iPad2, we were able to put $335.06 into the adoption fund!  A special thank you to everyone who donated!  When we bring our baby home, you will be able to look at that sweet little Ethiopian face and know that you were part of THIS, you made a difference and loved the least of these!

Crystal D.
Darren P.
Jeri C.
Krista W.
Linda W.
Lisa M.
Lisa R.
Lucinda S.
Marcia G.
Mike B.
Nathan C.
Nick W.
Paula S.
Regina J.
Roger P.
Ryan W.
Stephan W.
Susan P.

Why Ethiopia?

 

So, lots of people want to know why we are adoptng from Ethiopia when there are so many chidren in need right here in our own backyard.  I don't deny that, there are children all over the world who are hungry, fatherless, lonely and abused.  But these pictures I'm posting here today are simply things that we don't see here in KY.  We have CPS, foster care, WIC, food stamps, welfare, food banks, and soup kitchens galore.  While we still have babies going to bed hungry, we don't have thousands of them dying of starvation.  God has laid it on our hearts to help these babies in Ethiopia.

 









http://news.yahoo.com/ethiopia-says-4-5-million-people-food-aid-115051743.html



I came across these pictures today over at the Runner's adoption blog.  These pictures are absolutely heart wrenching and I promise to never post them again.  It breaks my heart to look at these babies.  And here's an excerpt from their blog, about their trip to Ethiopia in May 2012:

 

We learned on our trip here that if a baby is abandoned and is over 2 years of age.....the police don't take them to an orphange because they are old enough to survive on their own..........OLD ENOUGH TO SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN! Their is a structured system to the street kids - it starts out if you are two years old - four year olds take care of you - six year olds take care of the four year olds, etc, etc.

I can't imagine seeing these babies on the street.  Ashton is 18 months old, my baby, and there is NO WAY she would be old enough to survive on her own in 6 months.  I mean, I've caught this girl trying to eat rocks!  In so many ways I wasn't ready to read this today - and Fran I'm not sure how I didn't read this stuff last year!!!  And even reading this and seeing these pictures, I will NEVER be prepared to see this firsthand. 

Lots of prayers tonight for all of the children in need of a loving family....from the kids right here in my neighborhood, to the kids across the globe.







7 Days of 7: Clothes

In month 2, Jen challenged herself to wear only 7 items for the entire month - 2 pairs of shoes, 2 pair of pants, and 3 shirts to choose from.  When inspecting her wardrobe she gave away 300+ items of clothing!!!!  Some were new, with tags still attached.

I'm a bit of a purger, so I can't imagine having that many clothes.  But this has made me re-evaluate what's in my closet.  There are clothes in there that I've never worn (shame on me), while some people only have the clothes on their back.

So, I'm cleaning out the closets, and simplifying our lives.  Some things will be donated, while others will be sold with the profit going into the adoption fund.  I'm also cleaning out Shawn's half of the closet.  Let me just say, he doesn't purge nearly as much as I do.  I found 15 pairs of jeans all in the same size - and none of them fit.  I'm not really sure why anyone would ever need 15 pair of jeans.  He says if he had that many jeans (that fit), he wouldn't have to worry about the laundry for two weeks ;)

I'm also re-evaluating my "need" for new clothes.  Sometimes we go shopping just for the entertainment or because new clothes make us feel good.  We are leaving this behind us.  Simply put, if I don't actually need it, I'm not buying it.  And if we do need something, we are going to shop thrift stores first.  I realize this is not some grand new idea, but it's a movement in the right direction.

How Much is Too Much?

Yesterday I received an email from the adoption agency.  This was a mass email sent to anyone that had requested more information about adopting from China or Hong Kong.  Hong Kong had made it to our final 3 list, so we received this mass email.

There is a Chinese baby boy (Noah) in Alabama.  He is about 5 months old and needs a family.  He is on dialysis and will need a kidney transplant as soon as he is big enough to receive an adult kidney (about 2 years old).  He also suffered from placental abruption and likely will have some developmental delays and possibly even cerebral palsy.

He is currently in the hospital with an infection and is on 3 different antibiotics.  He sees a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist, and another doctor about his kidney.  At the age of 4 months, he had the head control of a 2 month old but is improving with therapy.  He also has trouble eating because he wants to suck without taking a break to breathe - another sign of delay.  But the severity of his condition is unknown.  All of the unknowns will be revealed as he continues to grow and whether or not he develops on track and meets age appropriate milestones. 

All of this is weighing my heart down.  All I can imagine is a 5 month old baby in the hospital with no mother to hold him.  And I ask myself, how much is too much? 

Please pray for Noah, that God will heal him and that God will match him with the perfect family.

7 Days of 7: Food

In month one, Jen Hatmaker limited herself to 7 foods, yes, only 7.  Everyday for a month she only ate 7 things - chicken, eggs, bread, avocado, apples, sweet potatoes, and spinach.  Some of her friends did a similar experiment with food, limiting themselves to the foods that the poor might eat in 3rd world countries. 

One thing I thought about was how much food we waste, in my own home, and across the country.  We've all heard our mothers say it before "There are starving kids in <insert country here> who would love to eat that."  Our mothers were right.  Americans families waste about 25% of food and drinks they purchased.  This doesn't even include the food that is wasted at supermarkets and restaurants because it wasn't purchased and went bad.

In thinking about saving money a few weeks ago, I had already thought about how much food we are wasting.  We buy fresh fruits and veggies that don't get eaten, and later find them rotting in the fridge.  We save leftovers, to throw them out two weeks later.  We are wasting a lot. 

What are we doing about it?  I started buying more frozen fruits and veggies.  They don't have all the preservatives of the canned goods, and if we forget to eat them that week, they are still good.  We are wasting less fresh produce and saving money.  In meal planning I have designated one night a week for leftovers.  We still waste some, but have gotten better about eating our leftovers when it's already in the game plan.  We have also set aside one dinner a week to eat like the poor.  So far it's just been rice and beans.  The kids aren't participating here, but they are picky eaters and still pretty young.  I would rather feed Ashton chicken nuggets than have her throw rice and beans in the floor. 

This also seems like a good time for confession.  A few weeks ago I declared that I was going to stop buying soda.  Well, this lasted for about 2 weeks.  I was exhausted, was in bed every night by 8 and could barely crawl out of the bed in the morning.  After two weeks I asked Shawn to buy me a soda.  I typically only have one soda a day and it's my only source of caffeine.  And wow, the difference it has made.  I'm able to stay up later and get more stuff done at home while the kids are in bed.  So, soda is going to be my one selfish thing.

Affirmation

My family spent the weekend at The Wilderness at the Smokies.  It was interesting to say the least, and I am totally lame for not having uploaded any pictures to post here.  My brother and my dad both had a stomach virus through part of the weekend, but the kids all had fun and we rarely have a chance to do something big like this for the kids. 

So the resort was about 4 hours from home.  And the kids were fairly content in the car so I chose to read.  I'm not an avid reader, I mean I love reading short blog posts, but rarely read books.  Last year on my favorite blog, Money Saving Mom, Crystal did a book review of 7 An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.  Crystal has been so inspired by the book she has challenged her readers to find 7 things to get rid of each day.  So, this weekend the only book I was interested in reading was 7.

I thought I might learn a few ways to save money, a few things we could cut out of our budget and live without, but it was so much more.  In so many ways it was like a slap in the face.  Conviction is strong in this book, but oh so true.  I'm hoping to blog for the next 7 days about the 7 areas of the book.  My thoughts, the change we are making as a result, etc, I'm just processing so much right now. 

But this wasn't even my favorite part of the book.  Hidden inside was an Ethiopian adoption story.  Seriously!  What are the chances that I pick a book about saving money and reducing excess, and get the bonus of an Ethiopian adoption story?!?  It amazes me how God uses such simple little things in our life to affirm that we are going in the right direction.  Thank you Lord, we hear you loud and clear! 

To add to that affirmation, last week I was in the car with the kids, with the radio on K-LOVE.  They are doing a fundraiser so it was full of commercial breaks asking listeners to donate $40 a month.  If you donate $40 a month, part of your donation will go to Shoes for Orphan Souls.  They went on to talk about how so many orphans don't even have a pair of shoes, and for most that means they can't go to school.  Sometimes we think our kids aren't listening, but oh they are.  Abby piped up with a loud "WHAT?"  That sweet little 5 year old shoe diva, couldn't believe that some kids don't have shoes.  God is softening her heart too, preparing her to accept this sweet child he has waiting for us. 

Why Live Debt-Free?

A lot of people have had some interest in our hope to someday be debt-free.  And, I mean 100% debt free.  So I thought I would share a little bit about how we got here, and why we want to live this way.  No, we are not Dave Ramsey followers.  I have heard about him, and started reading one of his books a few years ago, but never finished it....not even half of it. 

There are skeletons in our closet.  We're not particularly proud of them, and that's why I like to keep them in the closet.  But it may be time for me to show them to the world, for any of you who may be struggling the way we once did.

In 2007 I would say we were on top of the world.  We had just built a 1600 square foot house, with an attached garage and full unfinished basement, on 5 acres of land with a barn and a pond.  And we were expecting our first baby.  At the time, we both worked the same hours, at the same company so we shared a vehicle, a Ford Ranger.  But the Ranger didn't have a back seat so we had to buy a new car, or two new cars rather.  I switched to a different shift at work.  Now we were no longer working the same shift and sharing a car this way was getting a bit difficult.  So we increased our debt by exchanging one car payment for two. 

We had some minor issues with the house in the first few months, all of which were repaired by the contractor, since most new homes have at least a one year warranty.  We also had a few other surprises, like the cost of our electric and water bill.  Electricity alone averaged about $200 but up to about $250 in the winter.  Previously we had only paid about $100 a month.  And the water bill was $40 where as we had normally only paid about $15.  And now we had a 5 acre yard, which meant we had to buy a lawn mower.  In the subdivision where we lived before, we either borrowed a mower, or paid someone.  So the lawn mower, was one more monthly payment.  Also, this house was much bigger than our first house, so we needed new furniture to fill it up, and we financed that too.  This wonderful house was getting expensive.

In February 2008, Abby was born.  While babies are the sweetest little bundles of joy, they are also expensive.  And no one could have prepared us for how expensive this sweet little girl would be.  The hospital bills rolled in, which we expected no doubt.  But at 2 weeks old, Abby was spitting up more milk than she was keeping down and she was screaming in pain.  She had reflux.  Which meant we had to use an expensive formula.  My original plan was to breastfeed, which wasn't working out anyway, but now we were spending $75 a week in formula alone.  Yep, $300 a month just on formula, that we absolutely had not planned for (if you think I'm exaggerating, check out the price of Similac Alimentum the next time you hit the baby dept).  Plus another $40 for her reflux prescription, and no telling how much on diapers and wipes.

In Spring of 2008, we put the house on the market, and started looking for something smaller and more affordable.  We had a few bites, but no offers.  The housing market was sliding.  We refinanced our house for an interest-only loan to free up some income.  In August we found a house, not far from where we lived, in a nice little neighborhood.  It was similar to the first house we owned, which we had been so happy to sell in 2006.  The house was for sale by owner.  We made an offer, and were able to close quickly.  The seller was recently divorced and needed out of the house.  Somehow the mortgage company gave us a loan.  And we attempted to float two mortgages.  We moved into the smaller home in October after doing a few minor repairs. 

That winter, the recession hit our jobs.  Shawn got a pay cut and lost a team leader position.  Now we were making less money, and we owned two houses.  We were at rock bottom, and we were suffocating in debt.  With no place else to turn, we hired a 3rd party agent to "short-sale" our big expensive house on 5 acres.  We were able to walk away with no liability, but our credit score was scarred....mine reached as low as 410.  But at least we still had a roof over our heads.

This was a turning point for me.  This is when I finally embraced the idea of being debt free.  But a few things had to change.  In the past I had always managed the checkbook, and Shawn never really had a clue of how much money we had.  So, I printed a ledger and put it on the refrigerator door.  I kept our balance there and he was able to update his own receipts and see how much money we had in the bank without asking me.  I also printed a calendar, and on each Friday, I listed what bills were to be paid and how much money we needed to keep for the next week.  This lets BOTH of us see how much money we have and what bills are coming up.  Finally, I made a chart of all of our debt and listed the balances from the smallest to the largest.  And we slowly began paying things off, snowballing our debt.  We paid off credit card balances, our furniture loan, and our lawn mower.  We also paid off a 401(k) loan and a small student loan.  Last year, we paid off one of our cars.  The first time we have ever paid off a car, in almost 10 years of marriage. 

I mentioned before that we are nowhere near being debt free, and well, we're really not.  We still have one car payment, a mortgage, and student loans.  But we have been making progress.  We have started evaluating whether we need things, and whether a purchase is a good decision.  I even pray now for God to guide me before I make a big purchase.  Before we were making these decisions on our own, and clearly we were wrong.  I truly feel that God will provide for us, and provide a way for us to fund this adoption without incurring additional debt. 

So why do I want to be debt-free?  One simple word, FREEDOM.  Freedom from the chains of debt, the entrapment, and suffocation that we once felt.  Freedom to spend our money the way that God would have us spend it.  Freedom to give back to those in need.  Freedom.