10 Years

Ten years ago today I said "I do" to my best friend.  We were just kids then, only 19, committing to spend the rest of our lives together.  Wow, how 10 years can FLY past.  And what an adventure it has been!

I don't really remember where I thought I'd be 10 years ago.  We always wanted kids and we always wanted to adopt.  But I don't know if I ever imagined we would have two sweet beautiful little girls and be in the process (OK very early process) of adopting from Ethiopia. 

We've survived ups and downs, our families have seen births and deaths, we survived those early college years, and added jobs and skills to our resumes.  We have moved 4 times and have bought, well, a few cars...and we made it through the "up-all-night" phase with two precious baby girls. 

We have plans, BIG plans for our future and for our family.  And we can't wait to see what this amazing journey holds for us.

We celebrated the big 10 by sending the kids to my moms for the weekend while we worked on the house - refinishing cabinets, replacing floors, and building custom tiled sinks.  And we are still recouping (so is the house).  And as much fun as it was painting cabinets, there was one small part of my weekend that made my heart skip.  At the end of day one, Shawn told me he missed the girls.  He missed their sweet cuddly side, and the crazy meltdown tantrums.  He said "our lives were so lame before we had kids".  And he is so right.  If you are a wife and a mom, you know that there is just nothing you love more about your husband than the way he loves your babies!

So many of the things that we thought mattered 10 years ago just don't matter anymore.  Late nights out have been replaced with bedtime stories and lullabies.  Private vacations for 2 have been replaced with family vacations for 4.  Designer clothes have been replaced with whatever is on sale at Walmart.  Dinners out have been replaced with happy meals.  And a somewhat organized home (hey, I said somewhat) has been replaced with a trail of scattered toys and sticky messes.  And as much as I would love to be the mom who has it all together and keeps a spotless house, I just thank God for these little blessings he has given me to clean up after.  Because well, life was so lame before THIS!

Happy Anniversary babe!  I can't wait to bring one more sticky little face into our family!

Simply Live - Mother's Day Challenge

I have a Mother's Day challenge for all of my wonderful readers!  But first I have to share this amazing story with you....

Today I was introduced to the Wiederholt family's blog here.  The Wiederholt's have 4 boys at home and are adopting two children from Uganda.  The children are both infected with HIV.  One of them is not responding to the HIV treatment available in Uganda and needs medical help immediately!  But the Wiederholt's can't bring these kiddos home until they raise $25,000.  Let me remind everyone that HIV is not at all what it was in the 80's.  Doctors know tons about HIV now and people with HIV are able to live normal lives with the right treatment.  These children have hearts, minds, and souls that just need love - and the right medical care.  These parents are in fear of what may happen with this child if they don't bring him home soon.  The only thing standing in their way is a big chunk of cash....

So here's the Mother's Day challege:

Live simply so others can simply live.  That's powerful huh?  Especially when children are dying because they don't have the right medical treatment.  This week I ask that you give up something in honor of your mother and make a donation to the Wiederholt family.  Donations can be made via the paypal button on their page here.  Let's give Momma Wiederholt the best Mother's Day gift ever!  And after you make your donation, comment below with what you love most about your mother.  People, I expect to see lots of comments here!!!!  LIVE SIMPLY - give up the fast food, the shopping spree, etc, then donate the money you would have spent so that the Wiederholt's son can SIMPLY LIVE.

Mom, I love your compassionate heart, and I especially love that you gave a piece of that to me! 

Guidance, Healing, & Hope

Since starting this adoption journey, God has laid so much upon my heart.  And it's only been two short months.  I've cried out for the sick and starving in third world countries, mourned for mother's faced with giving up their children as the only choice for their babies to survive, I prayed desperately for baby Noah to find a forever family, and grieved over the millions of babies that were aborted without ever getting a chance at life.  And this week God has laid even more on my heart.  He has definitely been breaking my heart for what breaks His.

A friend told me about a family in need of prayers.  (Names left out to protect their privacy).  Two children, a 2 year old girl and a 2 month old boy, were permanently removed from their mother for suspected abuse.  They were placed in the care of their grandmother and their 18 year old aunt.  Their mother has no visitation rights.  And the family is feeling overwhelmed with these children.  I don't know any specifics and I can only imagine how hard it must be. 

There must be so much pain in knowing that your loved one is suspected of child abuse.  And so much pain in looking at these little ones and knowing that they have overcome so much in their short little lives.  There is so much unconditional love to care for these children as your own and want the very best for them.  There is so much sacrifice when raising children.  And let's face it, it's just plain hard.  It's hard for every parent bringing home a new baby - the sleepless nights, trying to find a routine, and still juggling everything that has to be done, work, chores, and the list goes on.  Take all of that and imagine becoming a parent overnight, a single parent at that.  Imagine having a 2 month old tossed into your arms at the young age of 18, barely an adult yourself with so much ahead of you.  That's sacrifice.

Our house is a living example of how hard raising children can be.  Ashton is 18 months, Abby is 5 years old, and with two girls, the meltdowns are frequent.  Every morning we can expect a meltdown over shoes, clothes, hair, or babydolls.  And this is just in the 15 minutes we are getting them ready to go to Mamaw's house.  And somehow we look at all this craziness and say, yeah, let's add one more to the mix.  God has given us so much more than we need, and these chronic meltdowns are just a phase in our life (right?).  And when I hear stories like this, about an 18 year old girl becoming an instant mom, I realize how easy I've got it, and how blessed I am.

Please pray for God's guidance for this family.  Pray for healing for all the pain.  Pray for hope for the future of these beautiful children.  I've been pouring my heart out in prayer for this family whom I have never met.  And when I think of them, I think of Jeremiah 29:11.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

A Heavy Heart

I read two articles over the past two days that just left my heart HEAVY.  So heavy I can hardly stand to carry it on my own. 

The first was an article about a couple that is giving up everything to become missionaries in Haiti.  Below is an excerpt that tore my heart to pieces:

He told about a mom to two young children with a new hungry baby girl. The mom was starving and her milk had dried up. There was no room for the baby at an orphanage, so she killed the baby with a rock rather than watch it starve to death.

“Can you feel the gut-wrenching poverty that would make you kill a baby?” he asked the crowd.

To me this is completely unthinkable!  How could a mother kill her own baby?   A mother should never even be faced with these trials.  Can you imagine knowing someone whose children are literally starving to death and facing these trials?  It's hard isn't it.  If we knew of starving children in our neighborhood, the majority of us would be at the door saying "Here Am I".  We would feed them, we would care for them, we would love them.

“Why does this happen?” he said. “Many ask, ‘Why does a good God allow this to happen?’

“I have another question. Why do good Christians allow this to happen?"

“Go into all the world,” said Vanderpool about Jesus’ Great Commission in Matthew 28. “He said, ‘Go.’

(Read the rest of this article here)

I also read an article about abortion someone posted on facebook from www.lifenews.com.  Somehow I have been blinded by this issue for the last 29 years.  Yes, I knew that thousands of babies are aborted.  I have even heard the story of a girl who was aborted, and survived to be adopted into a wonderful Christian home.  But somehow I didn't know how often babies actually live through abortion.  I read three horrific stories about babies that survived abortion, but then were left to die.  Placed in specimen pans, wrapped in disposable towels, even shoved in a closet - gasping for breath, lungs heaving.  With doctors, nurses, and all the medical care possible available, these babies are left to die simply because their mother wanted an abortion.  Their frail little lives are treated as if they have no value.  Nurses have lost their jobs fighting for these babies.  I read about nurses holding these babies, rocking them in their arms, and even baptizing them, nurses loving these babies until they took their last breath.  Babies without names.  My heart goes out to those in the medical field who face this struggle.  Can you imagine seeing this?  Which one of us would not do all that we could to save these little ones gasping for air?  Which one of us would not be screaming "Lord Here Am I"?

In the US there is an average of 3700 abortions a day!  It's a silent homicide.  We all know about abortion, I've always been Pro-Life, but I've never pictured these babies gasping for air and being left to die all alone, some living for hours before they finally pass.  Babies dying when so many families would be willing to adopt them.  Babies dying by their mother's choice while women are literally being dragged into abortion clinics in China against their will. 

I feel compassion towards the Haitian mother who loved her child, who wanted to feed her baby, who was willing to give up her baby for adoption to allow her to live, but in the end was left hopeless. While 3700 women a day in the US kill their babies for selfish reasons - because a baby is too much of a burden for them, because they believe their baby has a disability, or deformity.  The answer to this problem is adoption.  One mother pursued adoption for her child but was turned away, while 3700 women a day in the US don't give it a second thought.

What is this world that we live in?  How much longer must we suffer Lord?  How much longer must we wait for your return?

“Why do good Christians allow this to happen?"

The fight is ours.  Against poverty.  Against abortion.  The fight for all of God's children is our fight.

This is my Story

As part of the adoption application (which we finally submitted - Yay!) we both had to write our testimonies.  With Shawn's permission, I have posted his testimony below. 

THE EARLY YEARS

When asked about what my testimony is, what’s my story, I struggle. I am not a man of many words, so describing a distinct divine moment is hard for me. You see, I have always seen life not as a time filled with fate, but as actions of God’s will and man’s decisions. I was raised in a “casual Christian” home.  My father was a retired military turned semi truck driver, and my mother was a part time waitress.  We went to church, when we had time, when we didn’t over sleep or when the chores where caught up.  Even though my family believed in Christ as their savior, we were not the most obedient to his word.  My mother tried to “church” us as she enrolled me and my older siblings in a small private school in the basement of the church we attended.  My two oldest brothers and my sister graduated from this school. My other brother and I were not so fortunate. My parents had a falling out with the principle of the school and we were tossed into the chaotic world of public schools where we learned all the wrong things and not much of what the teacher was teaching…we became those kids…

My grandmother is the most faithful person I have ever met.  She was widowed before my birth, yet never remarried or turned to another man.  She instead turned to God and the teaching of the bible. She only kept one husband, even past his early passing.  She loves and lives for Christ.  She was the early beacon of light that introduced me to Him, to His ways, to His love.

My sister Krista and her husband Jesse White were early leaders for me in the Christian faith.  When I was as young as 9 or so I would work for them every Saturday night and during every week off school at their auction house.  Moving small boxes, helping carry bigger items, and catching bids as a junior ring man during the sell as well as clean up and tear down afterward.  I thought it was awesome because I was out making money and all my friends were at home bored to wits end.  Little did I know that more than work ethics were being instilled in me.  Jesse’s dad, Jim, was the founder of the auction that Jesse and Krista ran, but he was also a pastor.  No matter how late the auction ran on Saturday night, no matter how hard you worked, or how sore your muscles were, you were up on Sunday morning and you were going to church.

Just like church, when it came time to eat, even if you had moved an entire storage unit of furniture and boxes before breakfast, you took the time to thank the Lord for your food before you ate.  One afternoon we were taking a break at the auction and I was talking to Jesse and Jim and a lot of the discussions we had revolved around faith and Jim loved to share his testimony.  I casually stated that one day I would like to be pastor.  Not sure where that came from, I was a shy kid and did not like speaking in front of crowds.  Well, a couple weeks later Jim called me to the pulpit and let me have a turn at speaking to the crowd.  At first I was frightened, but that subsided and the words began to flow.  I am sure it was an incoherent rambling of mild biblical basis delivered from a stage frightened 10 year old boy.  All in all everyone said I did a great job, but that’s what supportive adults do.

THE PRODIGAL YEARS

The early years seemed easy compared to my prodigal years of being a teenager.  I eventually discovered females and wanted my weekends to be free so I quit working for the auction when I was about 14.  I started chasing girls and being the youngest of five, I started partying most every weekend too.  I made every wrong choice you could imagine.  Yet most nights as I would lay in bed I prayed…I would beg for forgiveness.  Beg to be accepted into His kingdom.  I would ask for a way out of the holes I had dug myself into.  Even though I was the poorest excuse for a self proclaimed Christian you could find, He always lead me out of darkness and I knew it was only by his grace.  Yet I would fall away again and again and again.  I broke my word to him every time I prayed, but He never betrayed me.

SWEET MERCY

Well, when you come from a lower income family, you can’t party like a rock star unless you pay for it yourself.  So, at age 16 (on my 16^th birthday to be exact) I started working at a local fast food restaurant.  It was fun; the party would start while we were at work and carry on to someones parent’s house afterward.  There were mornings that I had to work the kitchen for breakfast on a Saturday or Sunday morning and I would still be half drunk and exhausted.  So I would buy no-dose or Stackers or some kind of energy pills (this was before the energy drink craze).  There were times I would take too much and find myself dry heaving in the dumpster, my heart racing.  At least once I thought I was going to die from a caffeine overdose.  For some reason He spared me, maybe I was just over dramatic at the time, but I vowed to never do that again, but of course I did do it again.  Many times.  Thanks to this greasy burger joint, I was introduced to a young woman named Amber.  I swear to you God put her there to save me from my self-destructive ways.  Maybe it was a hangover and early morning light, but I walked around the corner to clock in and she was taking an order in the drive thru and she looked like an angel (wearing a head set and fast food uniform), the light from the quick serve window radiating around her struck me as divine.  I had spoke to her a couple times, but she was one of the “good girls” and I knew she wouldn’t go for a foul mouthed cigarette smoking, alcohol abusing poor boy like me.  But something inside me said “Get to know her”.   So I went out on a limb and went for it.  So after time actually trying to get to know a girl for who she was and not for my own intentions, I truly fell for her.  She turned me down I don’t know how many times.  Eventually, not sure why or how it happened she agreed to go out, that had to be the hand of God.  Now, my life did not change overnight, but through her I can see the same mercy and grace I saw in my grandmother.  She did not give up on me, not even when I continued down my foolish path.  I believe the only thing that held her hand in mine was the hand of God.  He used her to save me.

BAPTISM

I was never baptized as a child, wasn’t really sure what it was. But, my angel Amber re-introduced me to church.  So if I wanted to see her on Sunday, I would have to get up and go to church.  And I did.  This forced me to change myself, cut back on the drinking and not stay out AS late.  Yes I still partied, but it was scaled back.  I was fortunate enough to get to know Pastor Tim Underhill the preacher at Rolling Fork Christian.  He is a kind man with a pleasant disposition.  He was not pushy about the whole baptism thing.  After a while I came to understand what the baptism meant and I continued to pray. Now, by this time I had left public school and had enrolled in a small Christian school so I could hurry up and graduate (Amber had graduated a year ahead of me).  I was getting my tank refilled with all this mercy and love. The time had come. The old me had to die, be buried and rise a new man in Christ.  Now this time period in my life was a blur. I am not sure if I had graduated yet or if I was still in school. But I knew I needed the change.  The voice deep inside pushed me to change.  So I did it.  I was baptized one Sunday morning and I felt great, until I got home.  My mom was disappointed because she was not there to see it. I was a little crushed.  But that is life.

CHANGE IS NOT EASY OR NATURAL

I had a plan.  I did not get good grades in high school, so getting into college would not be easy.  I had taken two years of Air Force JROTC my sophomore and junior years in public school.  So, it just made sense to join the Air Force and attend the CCAF and get a degree by the time my 4 years were up.  Fool proof plan.  My Dad retired from the Army when I was less than a year old, so I had heard all the stories my whole life.  And in the post 9/11 America, the Air Force is way safer than the Marines or Army.  So while signing up, I got knocked out of all the good jobs due to minor hearing loss.  Then, on my ship out date, I shaved my patchy goatee and was ready to fly into the wild blue yonder…but that didn’t happen.  I was overweight by one pound.  I was devastated.  So I came home and joined the work force.  Yes I could have lost one pound and shipped 30 days later, but that was not God’s plan for me and Amber.  Amber is a homebody who needs her family close.  Military life is not for her.  So my plan changed, and changed again and again.  One thing did not change, Amber was by my side keeping me in check, once again only by God’s grace and mercy.  So we settled down and got married.  We bought a house and Amber graduated college.  We no longer attended the church that I was baptized in and that we were married in.  We had switched to a church closer to home.  It had a fine young pastor and his adorable family.  He reached out to us and our families and I was so ever grateful for Matthew and Rachel Johnson.  But a young pastor in an old church sometimes does not mix.  There was a group within the church that attacked Matthews’s character and was trying to force him out.  It was obvious that Matthew could not stay at this church.  We wanted no part of this political battle, so we left the church…for years.  Amber and I were on different shifts and I was looking for a hobby so to say.  I was driving home from work one day and saw a banner hanging off the local fire department substation that read “NOW RECRUITING” in large bold print.  I had to do it.  I needed this chance to be someone, I wanted a change.

INTRO TO PARKWAY

So goes the days of being a jolly volunteer, running out in the middle of the night, missing dinner and ends of movies.  There were several near misses and emotionally draining calls to respond to.  I was hooked and loved every last minute of my time with the fine men and women of the Bardstown Nelson County Fire Department.  It is really amazing how God used these three years to lead us back to the church. It is still baffling to me today.  As my job positions changed at work and I jumped from shift to shift it was becoming difficult to get the required training hours needed to stay active at the fire department.  So I would attend Friday morning training with the paid crew.  Most of these days were full of building preplans and computer training. One of the last Friday morning trainings I attended we did a “preplan walkthrough” of Parkway Baptist Church.  It is a larger church than I had ever attended.  From the moment I walked in I was awestruck. They loved their children. They had a secure, fun and educational preschool area, a playground outside, they had a nice area for older children to learn and worship then they had an area I had never expected…it looked like a night club almost, illuminated by black lights there was a stage and a full set of instruments, colorful crosses and ten commandments tablets glowed off the walls.  Where was this 10 years ago?  Usually during a preplan, I concentrate on FDC hook ups, and attack methods, areas that could be a potential hazard to fire fighters entering the building.  But not today.  I was blown away at how much this church reached out to its youth.  But it was more than that too.  There were prayer rooms, and a library loaded with educational Christian books.  The sanctuary had two large screens so everyone could sing along with the worship leader and read the text the pastor was preaching from.  They not only loved the children, but loved all who attended their services.  God had blessed my home town with an amazing treasure that I had failed to notice for all this time.  When I got home, I told Amber how awesome it was.  Then I filed it away and never went back.

PARENTHOOD, FOOLISH PRIDE AND SAVING GRACE

Amber and I had been blessed with promotions and in my foolish mind it was due to my hard work.  We had sold our nice starter home and built a large house on a huge plot of land that included a barn and a pond.  We were at the top of our game.  We were excitedly expecting our first child in my mind our only biological child.  I always said we could have one child and if we wanted more, we could adopt one.  Then the game changed.   Amber was forced to changed shifts so we could no longer ride share and had to buy a car.  My truck was too little to haul a baby in, so we had to buy ANOTHER car.  Finally the day came and we were blessed with our beautiful Miss Abigail May, Abby for short.  The blessing also came with diapers, formula and clothes.  No biggie we got this right, wrong.  Abby was born with reflux, she had to eat special formula which was about $75 a week plus reflux medicine.  We were broke.  Along comes the recession and I get moved from a team leader position back to production reducing my pay even further.  So we prayed and it was clear, we needed to trim the fat and reduce our life style.  We purchased a much smaller older house and sold our nice big house.  I jumped shifts to dodge layoffs, the whole time being guided by Gods sovereign hands.  As Abby started getting older, and our mistakes became clear the need to join a church resounded loudly.  We talked about this and that and decided to try out that big church I toured a couple years before.  It was a great fit.  God is moving through that Church and through our family.  God has put in place strong leadership that hold tight to sound doctrine.  In the three years we have been attending Parkway Baptist, I have grown spiritually beyond all recognition.  We have added a second daughter to the picture, Ashton Macie, who will be two in October.  I love seeing my daughters enjoying church, interacting with other children who love God as they do.  I love hearing them sing Jesus Loves Me and telling me about Noah’s Ark.  It is refreshing seeing what is being told to them at home being reinforced at church, because you know parents can be so square.  God has brought us to a place that embraces change in a biblical method while holding strong to biblical principle.  This atmosphere promotes healthy spiritual growth from within.  I know while typing this up it was painful to look back and see who I was, all the wrong that I’ve done.  But there is peace knowing that through Christ alone, these sins and transgressions are forgiven eternally.

WHO I AM

I have lived my life loving God, but denying his truth as Peter denied Christ three times.  I have heard and read the Parable of the Prodigal Son, but more so, I have lived it.  I have cried out to the Lord in anger just to fall onto my tears to beg for mercy.  I have seen flames take 12 lives all at the same time, but found peace in His word.  I struggle with my pride, but ask Him for help.  I am a sinner, but I pray for forgiveness with a heart of repentance.  As I beg God for forgiveness, I struggle to give forgiveness, foolish pride.  God is moving me to change my stubborn ways and with His help I will overcome this sinful nature.  I pray you find this insight full as we move forward to adoption.

Moringa

Shelby and Leah

 

 

Today I have a guest post and fundraising opportunity from Nick West.  Shawn and I both work with Nick and have known him for several years.

 

Hello my name is Nick West. I am married to my high school sweetheart Lenea. Together we have 3 Amazing daughters. Shelby, 5. Raegan 2 1/2 and Leah 3 months. We had planned on stopping with Raegan and Adopting a child in a few years to try to give a better life to someone who would otherwise struggle. As many of you know God laughs at our plans so in January we welcomed our latest addition to our Tribe. Ever since we found out we were having another child I have had the thought rolling around in my head to look for someone else to help. In comes the Ipad Raffle :) I had just started looking into Shawn and Amber's journey thru another blog post Amber had shared on Facebook. I bought a few tickets but still felt a little push to do more.

 

Raegan listening to baby Leah

 

After further thought and prayer I decided to Team up with them and use the power of Moringa to help them fund their journey. I will donate 10% of all initial Orders and 5% of all additional orders generated thru this blog post. If you have any questions about anything we do please feel free to contact me and I will be more than happy to help you. My cell is 270-765-3659

http://nickwest.myzija.com/moringa/index.html

 

Check out Nick's page to learn more about Moringa!  I've included a link to the right for future reference.  Thanks Nick & Lenea for all of your support! 

 

Talk About Timing...

Yesterday I was sulking, you see I was hoping to get this whole adoption thing rolling, but we were still financially shy.  We only had $2869.  We need $250 for the adoption application and $3083.33 for the home study, so a total of $3333.33.  We were fortunate to get a bonus last week, which I had already added in our adoption fund, but we were still shy.  I'm sure I don't have to tell you that waiting is hard - it doesn't matter what you are waiting for, we want what we want, when we want it.

I finally got over my sulking (sort of).  I knew we would have the money next month and until then decided we would put spring cleaning in high gear and focus on some minor home repairs.

After work I picked the kids up, went home, and checked the mail as usual.  Then headed inside to start dinner - rice & beans night, talk about an easy dinner!  Abby was thrilled to find a "Kids'R Us" (Toys'R Us) catalog in the stack of mail.  And I found an envelope from a consulting company - probably junk mail but I opened it anyway.  To my surprise, I found a check.  A few weeks ago, I had received a letter in the mail stating that we would get a settlement check from our old mortgage company.  Apparently they were under some type of review and our loan was involved in the settlement case.  Now I've received these silly settlement checks before from different companies that we've been involved with, the last one totaled 17 cents to be exact (quite sad when the postage is worth more than the check, don't you think?).  So when I read the letter, I laughed and even told Shawn we would probably be getting a big 17 cent check in the mail soon.  But this wasn't a 17 cent check, it was $300.  We were almost there now.  I started crunching the numbers again for the adoption fund.  I'm still not sure how, but apparently I had miscalculated somewhere along the way and our new total is $3340!  Yep, just a few dollars MORE than what we need.  Talk about God's timing!!!  Needless to say, we will be sending in our adoption application this week!

I also want to apologize for letting my 7 Days of 7 blogs slip.  I hate to pull this card, but I've been busy.  Busy crafting (for adoption) busy with the chores, and busy with the kids.  This is what life is really about.  While 7 is still an amazing book, you are just going to have to read it for yourself!  But this verse pretty much sums it up:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2