Our Hearts Grew 2 Sizes

One week before Thanksgiving our adoption agency shared a post on Facebook about twin baby boys in Poland who would be separated if a family was not found for them soon.  This was like a last call, and their files had been sent to several different adoption agencies.  On a crazy whim, we contacted the social worker about the boys.  By Thanksgiving, a copy of our home study was in Poland for review, and we had received the news that the boys were still available.  While the social worker had received several inquiries, we were the only ones to proceed, sending our files to Poland.  What comes next is complicated.

The boys are not officially ours, we have not received an official acceptance letter and will not receive one until our Dossier is received in Poland.  Right now we are working as fast as we can to update our home study (everything was specific to Ethiopia before, a different country means different demands).  Once our home study is complete, we will file for immigration again.  We had filed an I-600A for Ethiopia and Poland requires and I-800.  I don't understand all the reasoning behind these little details, we are just pushing through and doing what is required.  After we file for I-800 status, we will finally be able to send our Dossier to Poland.  And then we will wait for an "official" acceptance.  

In so many ways, it feels like we are in limbo, rushing to complete things while we still don't know anything is completely certain.  At the same time, my heart rests knowing that God led us to this and WE are the ONLY family pursuing the boys.  Next week is Christmas, and we are still the only family that has submitted paperwork to Poland in hopes to adopt these babies.  So we continue to push through as though they are OURS.  

Tomorrow we make one huge step towards completing the new home study, one final home study visit!  Prayers from our sweet friends that we might wrap up all the loose ends quickly!

Moving forward, we need to raise $19,973 in a short 4 months.  We anticipate to travel to Poland late Spring.  On top of that we will be saving for our travel expenses.  We are praying Uncle Sam has a nice tax refund in store for us to cover most of the travel costs.  And here is where I ask all of you to help us.  Everyone can do something to help us bring the boys home, no matter how small or meek it may seem.  We have lots of needs that we need help with over the next few months.

• PRAY.  We need prayer warriors.  Pray for the babies.  Pray for our family.  Pray for our finances.
• Donations.  We are setting up a fund with Lifesong where our family and friends can make TAX DEDUCTIBLE financial donations.  More to come on this!
• GRANTS.  We are applying for every adoption grant we can find.  Pray that we will be awarded grants!
• STUFF.  We will most likely have a yard sale of some sort early spring.  If you have any stuff you would like to donate, we would love to take it off your hands!  One man's trash is another man's treasure!
• CRAFTS.  Calling all of my crafty friends -  We will be raffling items at White's Auction in Bloomfield every Friday night.  Your crafty donations are needed!
• BAKED GOODS.  I have a sweet tooth but was not blessed to be a baker.  We will be raffling items at White's Auction in Bloomfield every Friday night, that includes baked goods.  We would love your baked good donations!  
• SPRING CONSIGNEMNT.  The spring consignment sale is coming up quickly.  I am seeking donations of kids clothes, toys, and baby items to sell at the Sweet Repeats Consignment sale in the Spring!  
• BABY BOY STUFF.  We have specific needs for the boys.  We specifically need a crib and mattress, crib sheets, high chairs, and infant toys.  We will also need clothes but at this time we don't have a realistic idea of what size?!  Hand-me-downs are welcome and appreciated!  

Please consider one or more of these ways above to support us!  Our financial goal for January is to raise $4643 to cover our next payment.

Merry Christmas and may you be Blessed in 2015!

When God's Plans are not MY Plans

A little over a year ago, we felt God's call to adopt.  Since then we have faced 3 major road blocks. 

1. Ethiopia shut down the adoption process for 7 long months for investigations.  This made us anxious but we faithfully waited,

2. Ethiopia wait time is up to 5 years, verses the previous 18-24 month wait.  Just before sending out our dossier, we were informed that the wait time changed.  With the adoption process being on such rocky ground, and knowing that Ethiopia is a non-hague country, we decided we can not proceed with International adoption at this time.  We started Foster Care training in hopes to foster-to-adopt.

3. Our sweet daughter has been sick.  Just before our last day of Foster training, Abby was given a possible diagnosis of Celiac disease.  Further testing and diet changes have confirmed that she does indeed have celiac.  We are thankful to the Lord that this is a very manageable condition, and we are already seeing improvement with her new diet changes.  We also know that these changes are very stressful for our family, especially the kids who can no longer eat some of their favorite foods, and coping with the fact that this is a lifelong condition.  With all of this stress in our home, it's not the right time for us to pursue foster care.

So now what?  Honestly, we don't know.  From all of the training, and home visits, and background checks, we are certified to provide respite care for other foster families.  So while we are not able to pursue our original plans, we are able to bless several foster families in our church.  

Today I leave you with this beautiful verse:

The Road Ahead

Where We've Been:

We have spent the last year training, completing piles of paperwork, and preparing to adopt from Ethiopia.  God was preparing our hearts for something BIG and we felt confident.  Then the Ethiopia program was placed on hold for 7 long months with no adoptions being processed.  Orphanages were investigated.  And laws were changed.  The wait time to adopt a younger child from Ethiopia increased from 18-24 months to 3-5 years.

Where We Are Now:

My heart aches for the Ethiopia children waiting in these orphanages and all of the families waiting to adopt.  When our social worker confirmed the wait time is up to 5 years I wanted to cry, mourning for the loss of something I never had.  Our paperwork has not been submitted to Ethiopia yet so we are closer to the 5 year spectrum.  After lots of prayer we decided the Ethiopia program is not right for our family at this time.  We may revisit this later, but right now we can't continue to invest in a program that has experienced so many changes in such a short time.  How much more will change over the course of 5 years?

The Road Ahead:

We still have a heart for adoption, and adoption is still in our future.  We started training for foster-adoption with our local state program.  And we are praying that God will lead us in the way that we should go.

What About The Adoption Funds?

Let's face it, I know some of you are wondering this, I mean we just did a t-shirt fundraiser.  Honestly, we don't have much in the adoption fund.  Most of our funds have already been paid to the agency and there are no refunds at this point in the program.  What little we have in funds will help us prepare for foster care (provide a bed, clothes, etc for the child) and we will donate some funds to other families in the adoption program or to our church adoption fund.  We will continue to support International adoption although we are not currently pursuing International adoption.

DO SOMETHING

This Memorial Day weekend we received our completed home study and mailed out our I-600A application!  This is a HUGE milestone for us!  While we wait for our I-600A approval we will be completing our Dossier to send to Ethiopia.  It is so great to be moving forward!!! Moving forward also means more fundraising!  We hope to raise $3083 by the time our I-600A is completed, in about 90 days.

We created t-shirts on booster.com as a way to raise funds for our next payment.  The front of the t-shirt reads "DO SOMETHING", inspired by Matthew West's song here.  The back of the shirt quotes Matthew 25:35, a verse that I feel truly reflects adoption!  Shirts are $15 each and can be purchased online for an additional $5 shipping fee.  If you are interested in purchasing a shirt, contact me OR order online here!

Please be in prayer that God will continue to provide for our family!  Blessings to all of you!

I Could Never Do That...

So often when we tell people about our adoption, we hear the words "I could NEVER do that..."

"I could NEVER adopt"

"I could NEVER get on a plane and fly across the ocean"

"I could NEVER go to Ethiopia"

"I could NEVER do that...."

For those of you think you could "NEVER do that" or wonder what kind of crazy mess my family has gotten into, here is a brief look at WHY we are able to do THIS

Imagine one of your children is lost in a far away land....don't imagine a child you have never met, imagine the child you hold in your arms each day (for me it's Abby or Ashton)...she is hungry and scared....and she needs YOU to come to her.  You are scared of flying, scared of the unknown of this faraway land, but your child is waiting for you...she is lost and crying out for Mom and Dad to come to her.  Would you hesitate to get on a plane and go to your child?  NO!  You would make a mad rush to the airport and plead with the lady at the ticket line to get you there NOW.  There would be no time to think about the fear that would normally consume you.

It's exactly like that....but instead of imagining Abby or Ashton lost in this faraway land, there is a beautiful child that God has chosen for us, who is hungry and scared, and waiting for Mom and Dad.... 

 

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in" 

 ~Matthew 25:35

Flower Power

      

 

 

Over the last several months things have been moving very slow in Ethiopia!  They have a new Prime Minister, orphanages have been investigated, and they have made changes to the adoption process.  Things are finally moving forward again, and so are we!  Our social worker is wrapping up our home study and we are working on our I-600A and Dossier (more paperwork for me!)  This new milestone also means it's fundraising time!  We have funds to cover the next payment for the homestudy but need to raise $890 to cover the I-600A. 

FLOWER POWER - We have a great fundraiser just in time for Mother's Day!  Our family will receive 50% of all orders at Flower Power Fundraising.  They are backed by a 100% guarantee, so why not order some flowers or strawberries (yum) for Mom!

NORWEX - I am a new Norwex Consultant.  Let me show you how to GREEN your cleaning and save some GREEN in your wallet by switching to Norwex.  I receive 35% commission from all of my sales.  Book a party with me today and earn FREE products!

KIDS CONSIGNMENT - As the weather is changing and you are cleaning out your kids closets, please consider donating their old FALL/WINTER clothes.  Contact me to make arrangements to pick-up or drop-off.  All clothes will be sold at the Sweet Repeats consignment sale this fall, and all profits will be applied to our adoption expenses.

RECYCLING - We are accepting used/empty toner and ink cartridges, yes even the cartridges you use at home.  We are recycling them through Funding Factory where we receive a minimum of 10 cents per cartridge.  One man's trash is another man's treasure!

AMAZON - We are an Amazon Affiliate!  When you shop using our link a small percentage of sales is donated to our adoption fund!  Linked at the right for your convenience!

Please be in prayer for Ethiopia, and prayer for our family to speed through this next process!

Blessings!

Vacationing on a Budget

One thing on my bucket list this year was a vacation!  And I am so thankful for the extra time that I had to spend playing with my family on Spring Break last week.  But vacations don't come cheap and we are still saving for adoption expenses so we did our best to pinch our pennies.  Here's how:

1) Booking the Room - We booked our room through ebay.  Tons of timeshare owners sell their weeks on ebay and it is possible to make a legitimate vacation purchase on ebay.  But remember a few tips, first check out the sellers rating and read through their feedback from previous customers.  You should be able to verify that other customers have successfully purchased a vacation and had a positive experience, if not keep shopping!  Also, never leave positive ebay feedback for your purchase until after your stay!  This is key, if you do have any issues you can always report it to ebay for a refund, but if you have already given positive feedback it may be difficult to argue your case.  We purchased a 2-bedroom condo for 5 days at Wilderness at the Smokies for $688 (waterpark passes included).  I had been selling on ebay for a few months so we had a Paypal balance of $125.95, bringing our OOP total to $562.05.  This averaged out to $112 a day for our family of 4 to sleep and play!

2) Meals - We typically ask for gift cards from our parents for Christmas, and we were able to save them for our vacation!  We were able to treat ourselves to dinner at Red Lobster completely free, and it's a favorite for our whole family.  Before the trip, we used our weekly grocery budget to purchase drinks and snacks for the condo.  This included our breakfast and most of our lunches.  Total dinners out over the 5 days was $114.71.  This averaged out to $22.94 a day for our family of 4!

3) Entertainment - The majority of our entertainment was the waterpark at The Wilderness resort.  We did allow $25 per kid at the arcade (which is hefty considering Ashton is only 2).  Personally I hate arcades because they are a money pit but all those flashing lights and sounds are kid magnets!  So to keep the peace, we caved to the arcade.  We also took the kids to a pottery shop at the resort where they painted their own pottery, which cost about $30 but they each came home with a souvenir that they painted themselves.  We spent a day in Gatlinburg at the Ripleys Aquarium and strolling through the town looking at all of the shops.  We attempted to purchase discount tickets for the aquarium at the resort, but they only had one ticket for us, the other two we had to purchase at the aquarium (Ashton was free!).  This cost us $62.56.  On the last day of our trip we took the kids on a bear hunt at Cade's Cove.  Cost for this was FREE!  Woo hoo!  Total entertainment was about $142.56, an average of $28 per day for our family of 4!

A vacation was long overdue for our family and it may be a LONG time before we see another one! 

ADOPTION UPDATE: We are currently working on our USCIS application and our dossier!  Ethiopia was in a slow period for several long months but things are finally looking up again :) 

Divine Intervention

This post has nothing to do with adoption but is something that so many of us struggle with.  God's Divine Intervention was my saving grace!

After Ashton was born I struggled, as so many women do, to get my body back to pre-pregnancy conditions.  (Now while writing this I realize that I am a mere 115 pounds so some of you are cringing and ready to close this blog, but keep reading.)  The baby weight fell off pretty quickly, it was the squishy mushy gut that was left behind that bothered me most.  Before I had kids I never had a belly and I longed to get those ab muscles back in shape.  I saw a news program about moms having tummy tucks to remedy abdominal separation.  It was the latest craze in plastic surgery, the "mommy makeover".

So, I had to find out what this abdominal separation was, which resulted in endless hours of online research for me.  And yep, I have it.  To save you some time, occasionally during pregnancy the ab muscles will stretch to a point of no return and you are left with a gap between the muscles, and I have the gap.  I did tons of exercises to remedy this, and talked to my doctor.  But the only solution is a tummy tuck.  Based on all of the research I had done I was able to justify that I NEEDED a tummy tuck.  There is a risk for hernia with abdominal separation and chronic back pain.  Insurance would not pay a dime for the surgery unless I was suffering from a hernia, but the cost would be worth it right?  I mean, I would be saving myself from all of this pain in the long run.  So I talked to some friends and got the number for (supposedly) the best plastic surgeon.

When my appointment came, I chickened out.  I cancelled at the last minute.  Something just wasn't right and I knew it.  But I continued to look in the mirror and hate what I saw.  I wore tummy compressors, but they are not so easy to find in a size small.  I also used Ace bandages to wrap my tummy down tight so that I looked better to myself.  It probably didn't help my situation any when a coworker asked if I was pregnant again, on a day when I had a big lunch and was feeling bloated.  So I made another appointment.

The night before my appointment both of my girls were sick with a stomach virus.  And let me say, if there is anything that will keep a mother home with her babies, it's a stomach virus.  So I cancelled that appointment too.

But weeks later I was still struggling with myself so I made one more attempt to see the surgeon.  And you probably wouldn't believe it, but Ashton got sick again that night.  Stomach virus, again.  So I cancelled AGAIN and stayed home with her.  Can we say, Divine Intervention? 

Clearly this just wasn't meant to be at this point in my life so I pushed it off to the back burner.  The kids were getting sick so often and I would need some recovery time but I just didn't think I would have time for recovery with the girls needing me so much right now.  So I moved on to find more things that I hated about myself. 

While helping Abby brush her teeth I had her put her teeth together so I could brush the front.  I have an underbite that I have had all my life.  Most people don't notice it so it usually doesn't bother me much.  But this night, Abby extended her bottom teeth in front of her top teeth so that she could smile like mom.  And at that very moment, I hated my teeth.  And for days she kept smiling with her teeth that way and I kept having to tell her to smile the right way because Mommy's teeth are not right.  So you could probably guess what happened next.  I found a seat at the Orthodontist.  I had braces as a kid but had a bad orthodontist.  And for the cost of $7000 I could "probably" fix the underbite.  But then I would need veneers to fix my splotchy teeth and that would be another $5000.  But they were willing to work with me on financing.  In my mind I kept trying to figure out how to work this out.  Maybe I could use my tax refund each year to pay for my teeth to look pretty....

And then it happened.  I had a meltdown.  Since Ashton was born I had been struggling with my hormones fluctuating, some days I was irritable and angry and could hardly deal with Abby if she did anything wrong.  She was 4 years old and on this morning she was fighting me trying not to sit in her seat in the car.  She kept taking her seat belt off and I lost it.  I said things I shouldn't have said and I treated her like she was worthless.  My husband stepped in.  We finally got her in the car and I was able to drop the kids off so I could go to work.  But I couldn't go to work that day.  I couldn't stop crying for how I had behaved and how much I hated feeling so angry inside.  I didn't want to feel like this and I didn't want to treat my family this way.  They didn't deserve it. 

I called my Dr knowing that if I didn't talk to someone right then it would be easy to look back and justify my behavior or act as though things weren't as bad as they were.  But my Dr's office was booked.  So I called another Dr, and they were booked too.  But I guess my sobbing on the end of the line worried the receptionist at the first office, because she called me back in a few minutes telling me they were going to squeeze me in right now.

That day I was prescribed an anti-depressant to help control my mood swings.  My husband was upset with the way I had acted that morning, but he supported me in seeking help.  And a million times I apologized to Abby and promised to never treat her that way again.  I never wanted to be "that" person.  You know the one that we so often stigmatize who relies on anti-depressants to deal with life.  But looking back I can be sure of one thing, this was the work of God's Divine Intervention over my life.  Within a matter of weeks my poor self image had dissolved and I was able to remember that I am a child of God, created in his perfect image - even with my squishy mushy gut and bad teeth.

Since that day a lot of things have changed at our house.  If we receive magazines or other things in the mail featuring women in bikins or similar ads, they go straight in the trash.  Because the truth is, those women are not real.  They are air brushed and digitally enhanced to make up someone's fantasy of what an ideal figure should be.  I am real, and YOU are real.  We are far from perfect, and we never will find perfection.  The answer isn't found in cosmetic surgery, but in accepting that God made YOU.  He formed you in your mother's womb, wonderfully and perfectly made.  How can it get any better than that?

So if you are reading this today and hating yourself, I encourage you to talk to your doctor.  Medication is not evil, it's only evil if we abuse it.  God gave us the ingredients to create the medicine and gave man the knowledge to make it.  It is HIS.  Everything is HIS.

And in case you are wondering about the adoption....it's still going good, it's just slow, and will be slow for awhile.  But today I can say I would much rather invest $12,000 in the life of a child than wasting it on my teeth!